Happy Halloween!

Went trick or treating with the girls and The Man. Boodle, even though she's the elder daughter, takes a while to warm up to the activity. She lets Loodle lay the groundwork of checking to see if there's anything scary on the porch and then doing the knocking. Only then will she approach the front door. Nerves or not, nothing stands between her and candy.

We lasted about two blocks before Boodle decided she had a respectable amount of candy and wanted to go home and EAT IT ALL UP. So she and The Man took off while Loodle and I went another couple of blocks. My favorite moment with my super genius younger daughter: as she's coming back down a drive way she stops and shoves most of her face into her candy bucket. She looks up at me and yells, "Bucket smells good! Mom, smell my bucket!" She was right, it smelled awesome.

Loodle also turned up her nose at the house across the street because they were barbequeing and offered her hot dogs (her favorite food) and apple cider. I can hear her brain thinking, "I'm sorry. Which part of this event did you not get? It's the candy, people. It's all about the candy. Next." I'm pretty sure they actually WERE handing out candy, but she wouldn't even go up the driveway. Gotta love her.

Dad

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.

- Philippians 1:3

Down, But Not Out

Thursday night, I came down with the worst. case. of. stomach. bug. ever. Ever, ever, ever. I was laying in my bed between bouts of yuck moaning and praying for relief. Thank God it was just the one night, and I was just exhausted for the next couple of days.

Today I finally rejoined civilization. The girls and I went to the nearby lake and explored the shore. Except for a few buzzing bees, it was a picturesque trip. How picturesque? I'm so glad you asked!

Seasons Change, Feelings Change

"It's been so long since I found you
Yet it seems like yesterdaaay-ay"

Name the group and you get a cookie! Not really, but I will exalt you.

The weather is finally changing in Texas! I actually wore layers of cold weather clothing yesterday and today, and woke up to realize that I needed to change the heating/cooling system to Heat. A cold front came and knocked over our Halloween decorations, relieving me from the UNRELENTING heat that is Texas in the summer/fall. Average temperatures for this time of year: 80 degrees. Now, I grew up in California where there aren't really SEASONS so much as gradations of nice weather. 80 degree average in October is just wrong. When does fall actually occur here? Christmas Eve? MLK's Birthday?

But today, I will try and focus on the positives. Top 10 reasons I'm glad it's fall:

10. I don't have to shave my legs all the time (not so much of a positive for The Man)
9. I don't work up a sweat walking from the front door to the van
8. I can now wear clothes that don't require a costume change when going from the heat outdoors into the arctic circle that is the local H.E.B. grocery store.
7. Bulky sweaters are acceptable attire, and hide a multitude of sins (read: French Fries)
6. The play structure that I paid one of my kidneys for can now finally be used for something besides frying eggs
5. Die, crickets, die!
4. It's okay for your grass to turn brown now
3. Did I mention the sweating? Oh, the sweating will finally abate.
2. The fireplace I paid my other kidney for can now be put to good use (Bow chicka bow bow!)

And the number one reason to be thankful it's fall:
1. NO MORE BATHING SUITS

Now My Life is Complete

Today, I got live out the fantasy of my 13 year old self. The Man and I took the girls.... roller skating. No, that's not the dream. How sad would that be? Let me paint the picture.

Over one summer in middle school I grew so much that I have stretch marks on my knees and thighs. MY THIGHS. Hawt. Stretch marks in middle school when you have to don a bathing suit, in front of the perfect girls, probably while on your PERIOD, and parade in front of the boys. Oh, the horror.

ANYWAY, being the tallest girl around does not lead to much romance when the boys are still knee high to a grasshopper. Add to that my burgeoning battle with an embarassing OCD, and you've got quite the winning combination. Lucky for me, I've got the sparkling personality and wit to fall back on.

But I never got that magical moment, that one where the BMOC (I'd even have taken the president of the chess club) asks you to skate a slow dance at the Vandenberg Village Roller Rink, and all the popular girls are, like, SO jealous. He falls madly in love with you and you just KNOW it's gonna be FOREVER.

Yes, that was the dream at 13, and today I got to live it. The Man and I skated around the rink together, holding hands, waving to our two kids (who were desperately clinging to the walls, wondering why we'd abandoned them on wheels), and it was awesome. OMG, those other moms there were, like, green with envy. Back off ladies, he's mine. I EARNED him! I've got the stretch marks to prove it!

Whew, I Don't Feel So Bad Anymore

Stumbled across this while web surfing after the etagiere fiasco. Giggling like crazy, I SO don't feel like the most idiotic person anymore.

Is My Sanity Worth $30?

I bought an etagiere (fancy word for bathroom cabinet thingy) from Target for $30. Economical, no? It requires assembly, but never fear: home repair girl is here. See, I have assembled every piece of some assembly required furniture in our house. I wear the toolbelt in this family.

I opened the box, checked my parts against the checklist, lined up my hammer, screwdrivers and Fresca and got down to business. Now, I've put together many a furniture item, including my office desk, which took multiple hours and looks awe-some (note the LACK of sarcasm-it actually looks really good). Common part used in wood furniture is the wooden dowel, which is inserted into a hole, usually requiring minimal force. With my etagiere, glue is required during insertion. No problem. The instructions direct you to insert the dowel until 5/16 of an inch is showing. Yeah, ok, let me get my ruler and just measure that up. Much eye rolling, a few taps with the hammer and I called it good.

Um, see, that was actually an important measurement. I believe they could have been a little more emphatic on that point. Something like:

"Hey, dumba**, when I wrote 5/16 of an inch, I wasn't just consulting the Ouija gods. It's a pretty precise number, wouldn't you agree? Since I actually indicated an exact measurement, maybe you oughta clue in and actually be precise your own self. See, here's what's gonna happen if you don't. You're going to attempt to attach two parts together, and see that the dowels weren't in far enough and now the two parts won't meet.

Oh, you already found that out? You didn't follow my precise instructions? Ok, I guess I can try and save you from yourself. The intelligent thing to do would be to use pliers and try to remove the dowels and start over. What? You didn't do that? You decided to put a magazine over the part and use the hammer to "work the dowels in"? Yes, I AM impressed that you used a magazine so that you wouldn't damage the wood. You're quite the craftsman.

So what happened then? You actually pushed the dowels through the wood and broke the white laminate surface on both sides of the cabinet unit? You're all manner of stupid, aren't you? That's quite a dilemma. Not sure where you go from there, but to try and cover up your handiwork by gluing the laminate pieces back onto the hole, which will look just spectacular. Please keep me posted on how you explain the repair work to each and every guest who comes to your house, seeing as how they are going to be using that particular bathroom. Good luck, honey."

Something like that would have been very helpful. Well, no matter. Pressing on. Put together about half of the etagiere and went to attach the doors. See, again, with the instructions.

"Hi, me again. Uh-huh, I see that you've progressed to attaching more pieces in your now proven half-a**ed manner. Well, lookey there, you seem to have attached part G upside down there, didn't you? See the holes? See how on the diagram they were supposed to be pointing up? No, look closer. Yeah, right there. Umm-hmm. Yeah, yours are backwards. They are facing the pretty laminate holes now, almost pulling the eye in that direction, much like a black hole. Don't worry, though. You can still fix this. Yeah, just take everything apart so you can turn that part around. What? The glue has dried? Oh, you're screwed."

At which point I have walked away from the etagiere, instructions, tools, and Fresca, carrying what little sense of humor and sanity with me.

Back to the original question: Is my sanity worth $30? I'm thinking Target (or perhaps a more upscale etagiere retailer) will be getting a little richer this weekend.

THIS is Why We Need a Gun

This tactic would definitely help with my cleaning issues...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,303429,00.html

Lovely Lunch

Loodle and I went to a Japanese restaurant for lunch today, which was not her first choice, but she picked yesterday, so it's MY turn. She was served lemonade, delivered in a can accompanied by a fancy glass full of ice-no kid's cups in sight. This is clearly a classy joint. Loodle ordered teriyaki chicken and tempura veggies, her favorite, and it was served in an elegant (and giant) Bento box. The atmosphere was tranquil, and the music relaxing. As she was eating, she paused, looked around and said:

"This restaurant is clean, and very pretty. I am really enjoying myself."

As was I, sweet girl.

Cleaning Just Got Easier for the Girls

I've had a few (okay, a bunch of) battles with the girls over the cleaning duties around the house. Recently, a new development has occurred, which I am trying to figure out how to handle. Okay, I KNOW how to handle it, it's just easier to put it off and avoid the dirty work of parenting.

We hire a sitter once a week. Let me just say that she ROCKS. The girls love her, and she enjoys being with kids that don't require diapers and are as girly as she. She brings them sweets, videos, craft projects, and even writes a letter at the end of each job detailing what they did while she was here. On special paper. In the most beautiful penmanship ever.

The awesome/troublesome part? She cleans. I know, how can you complain about THAT? I mean, she unloads my dishwasher. I HATE unloading the dishwasher. I would rather use paper plates than unload dishes. I would rather eat out than unload the dishwasher. I would rather MOVE than unload the dishwasher, so this shows how much I LOVE that she does this. However, in turn, she also cleans the girls' room and playroom while she's here. She says that they help, but I'm skeptical.

The whole idea was to make them responsible for their things, and this is circumventing that endeavor. So, the smart, responsible parent in me says I need to talk to her and ask her not to clean up for them, or at least to ensure that the kids are, in fact, doing the work. The "so relieved to get out of the house that I'm willing to put up with anything" parent in me is willing to ostrich it a wee bit longer.

My solution so far has been somewhere in the middle. I get them to clean up some BEFORE the babysitter comes. See, they're responsible! Oh, and so am I!

Pumpkin Patch Kids

Went to a farm about an hour from home to visit their pumpkin patch/fall festivities on Monday with our neighborhood playgroup. It's the first outing I planned for our group, so all my nervous worrying and planning was kicked into high gear.

They had an awesome corn field maze shaped like the state of Texas. We were given a ticket that had 12 cities listed on it. They corresponded to checkpoints located throughout the maze. At each checkpoint you punched the card, and if you got all 12, you received a free soda.

Three awesome things about the ticket challenge:

1. The punches were all different shapes, so we couldn't simply punch our card 12 times at the first location.

2. Each city was located correctly within Texas, and they had a map at the entrance as a reference guide. We went back twice to figure out which part of Texas we needed to go to next.

3. The free soda was a godsend on a near 90 degree day, after traipsing through a corn field in the blazing sun for 45 minutes.

We painted pumpkins, went for a hay ride, fed horses, and generally had a great day at the farm. I still can't accept the fact that all the fall pictures I have of my kids show them in t-shirts and shorts. Just once, I want a nice, crisp fall day that requires cardigans and loafers.

Fraught

I've decided that the perfect word that describes Boodle is "fraught". Her whole personality and her life is fraught. Definition from the internet: "Marked by or causing distress; emotional". This just describes her. I've gotta find a way to get her to RELAX. However, that would require me to exercise some of that myself, so I don't know how I'm going to do it.

I recognize so much of myself in her, now and from when I was a kid. I'm constantly involving myself (even if it's only in my own head) in other people's goings on. I have a hard time just sitting still and not letting my mind wander to the 87 things I've got to do later. I CAN'T stop myself from telling other people what to do, whether they want to hear it or not. Getting better at that, since I would drive my eldest even more crazy if I kept on at my usual pace. I worry about people's feelings WAY too much, in that I constantly second guess what I've said or written or typed. I can agonize, as I did earlier this week, over a request to have my meal redone because they didn't make it correctly. Is the waitress mad at me? Was I condescending? Am I getting a sneeze muffin? WHO CARES! They messed up my order, they're fixing it, and the waitress could care less about me and my "attitude". Move on. Whew.

On the upside, if she turns out like me, I can't complain too much. I like me. Work in progress, but progressing nicely.

After Dinner Hike

After dinner tonight we took a hike along the trail near our house. I of course wore jeans and a long sleeved shirt because I'm being EATEN ALIVE by mosquitos lately. GIANT bite marks and huge round welts make me look like some kind of science experiment gone horribly wrong. Anyway, in the 80 degree heat, off we went.

Wildlife we encountered:
1. Tarantula. First sighting here in Texas. Very exciting. He scurried under a rock, and Hubby couldn't coax him out for another look.
2. Fireflies. SO EXCITING. I've never seen them before, so it was fascinating to watch them. One flew close to me, and still glowed faintly when his light was out, so I could track him. Next time, we'll bring a bug box.
3. Frog that scared the bejeezus out of eldest daughter. It was on the sidewalk on our walk back to the house, and jumped just as she stepped near it.
4. Halloween decorations. They aren't actually wildlife, but now's the time of year we like to drive/walk around the neighborhood and see what everyone puts out.What a fun after dinner outing.

Now I'm sitting here all sweaty and smelling like bug spray. It totally reminds me of fishing with my dad in the summer in Big Pine, CA. Good times. Maybe I'll just smell nostalgic for a while before I shower.

He Actually ASKED That Question?

I'm browsing the news, and see the headline "Deadly Dessert". The story is about a 13 year old boy who kills his 8 year old brother. Apparently, the 8YO ate a dessert that he wasn't supposed to, and the 13YO was afraid he would get blamed, so he choked his brother and killed him. Terrible story.

Third from the last sentence in the story stopped me in my tracks:"The sheriff's office would not say what the dessert was."

There are so many bothersome questions regarding this situation, and what the dessert item was is at the bottom of the list. I can't believe the reporter asked what it was, and then felt compelled to note that the sheriff's office withheld the info. Does it actually matter? Is there an answer that satisfies? Key lime pie? Brownies? What? I have no words.