Things I Don't Understand

1. Why Diet Coke tastes so much better when served with crushed ice (thank you Sonic for being in my life)

2. Why so, so many people in Denmark continue to try and email me asking "what time is good for you" and telling me "they won't forget last night"

3. Why they haven't killed off Izzie Stevens on Grey's Anatomy already

4a. The young adult section at the bookstore. 4b. What ever happened to Sweet Valley High and a kiss being the ultimate romantic ending to a teenage love story?

5. How, after constantly doing laundry, there's always more laundry to do

6. Skinny jeans

7. Children who are awake before 7am on the weekend

Happy Thanksgiving

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15


Eat. Drink. And most of all, be glad.


-----------

Wordless Wednesday: This Can't Be Good

Fashion Tuesday

Loodle's Sunday church outfit:


The sweater dress was a gift from me, because it just screamed her name when I pulled it from the clearance rack at Old Navy. She added the rest. In her right hand, her bible that looks like a purse. In her left hand, a purse that looks like a bedazzler threw up on it. On her head, well, I think God appreciated the bling.

How Do You Splint a Hamster Leg?

We seem to have somehow broken one of our hamster's legs. There's been no admission of guilt by anyone, but on Saturday morning, there was a fair amount of hilarity coming from the girls' rooms at 6:30am, and The Man and I refused to get up and deal with any of it.

Later we found out they were having a gay old time with the hamsters, but firmly denied swinging anyone from their limbs or any other such mischief. All we know is that Max the escape artist has been seriously hobbled. However, this has not stopped him from running maniacally on his wheel with three legs. And no, I've not been laughing at him in front of my children.

Treatment from possible broken hamster leg: leave him the heck alone and pray we don't have to find a prosthetic leg. I don't think he's covered under our insurance plan.

Happy Birthday Loodle

Today is Loodle's 6th birthday.

How did we get here so quickly? You came into the world with barely a whimper, requiring me to swab you with cold water before you'd wake up to eat. You slept through the night at 5 weeks, and for that you became my favorite for a while. But did you really need to sleep through bathtime?

You survived your sister's love for you to please put a cork in it.

Your temper, while rare, was truly spectacular to behold.

You have an amazing, giving heart.

You have a laugh that is completely infectious.

You love to experience new things, and jump in feet first.

I envy you your free spirit.

I envy you your unwavering pride in your personal style.

And while your love of learning makes your father and I so proud,

It is your staggering beauty that scares the crap out of me, and leads me to require that you not date until you are 25.

You've got my heart baby girl.

I love you. Happy birthday.

Oh, Sarah Palin, You Do Cheer Me Up

I'm at home today with a sick kid. The kid who was supposed to celebrate her birthday today in class. The kid who was supposed to go to a slumber party tonight for a classmate who's birthday is tomorrow as well. I'm at home with the kid who is supposed to have her own birthday party tomorrow, and we're praying desperately she'll be up for it because I cannot eat 24 cupcakes alone yes I can.

In the meantime, God bless Sarah Palin, who I actually like, for giving me the biggest pick me up today. Read this story, wherein Mrs. Palin pardons a turkey, and then gives an interview. All whilst a turkey farm employee is feeding turkeys number 437 and 438 into the turkey brain grinder behind her. On camera.

Sarah, I love you. Call me.

When Mediocre Photo Shoots Go Bad

I'm taking this portrait photography class at the local university, and due to various procrastinating and procrastinating and procrastinating issues, I HAD to get some shots yesterday OR ELSE. So I forced the girls into semi-matching outfits so I wasn't battling wacky Fashion Tuesday colors, and we set out for the park.

We got there just as the golden hour was coming to a close, so already a strike against me. I got a few glowingly lovely shots, but everything else was hinky. I say this mostly to give myself an out when all my awesome photographer readers stop by and wonder what on earth I'm actually LEARNING from these classes.

ANYWAY. Things started off fine.

Then, after only a couple shots, a bug got a little too close and that was the end of the pretty purple bush location.

Then there was the unfortunate incident on the see saw, when someone landed funny on their hee haw, if you know what I'm sayin'.

She was a little perturbed for a bit, but the allure of the lens cannot be denied!

Next there was mention of someone possibly not brushing their teeth this morning, and something about a breath mint, and the tire swing was history.

After that, someone's head got chopped off, to the horror of another, who was magically transformed into a Madame Tussaud's exhibit.

Then there was a little bit of this,

Followed by a LOT of that.

And just when things start to get a little contrived,

And a little whiny,

I got these.


Worth it.

Safe and Well

My uncle sent me this message from the Red Cross Safe and Well Website:

First Name: Enid
As of Date: 11/15/2008 23:23:00 [EST]
Safe and Well Message: I am safe and well. I have evacuated and I am safe.

We are so relieved and so thankful. I've been checking this website, but was entering the address as opposed to the phone #. Me and technology, a dangerous combination. Could have saved us two days of worry.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Continue to pray for those who've lost everything, and consider making a donation to the Red Cross if you are so inclined.

Tomorrow we can get back to the inanities of life, including wacky clothing and hamsters on time out. Don't ask.

Still No News: UPDATE!!

I was reading updated stories tonight on the NBC Los Angeles website, and they listed the 120 mobile homes that were not destroyed during the fire. My grandmother's was one of them.

I can't believe it. I've double checked her address a dozen times. I'm still in shock, but so very grateful and thankful. I don't know how her place survived, except by the grace of God. I'll keep you updated as we know more.

---------------
We still have not heard from my Grandmother Enid, but we're reassured by the fact that there have been no fatalities reported. Hopefully, it's simply a matter of finding out where she ended up staying. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

To read additional reports about the Oakridge Mobile Home park, click here. It's devastating to think of that many families' homes being destroyed so quickly.

Shock and Nerves

I feel weird posting about this right now, but I figure the more people out there praying, the better.

My Grandma Enid lives in Sylmar, CA in a mobile home park. I've been closely following coverage of the fires occurring there. According to this news report, the park where she lived, which had some 500 mobile homes, was destroyed.

I'm sure she got out fine and is with friends, but we have not been able to contact her as of yet. Please send your thoughts/prayers/positive mojo her way. I'll update when I hear anything.

I've Got the Week Off

Boodle hatched a plan during a dinner out on Wednesday night that I just had to share with you. Tired of being forced to eat what I wanted them to eat, she offered to cook dinner for the next week.

Fine, whatever. I guess if you want to. Yippee hooray hallelujah thank you Jesus!!!

She worked out her weekly meal plan, coming up with an ingenious idea to serve foods that start with the letter corresponding to the day she serves it.

Here's what we've got to look forward to, starting with yesterday's meal:

Thursday - tortillas and cheese
Friday - fish sticks
Saturday - salad
Sunday - sausage (pizza)
Monday - Mac n Cheese
Tuesday - tacos
Wednesday - weiner dogs

Yesterday's offering turned into nachos, with Loodle requesting not a quesadilla, which she likes to inject directly into her veins, but a hot dog, which offended my orderly sensibilities because it does not start with a T.

Today's fish sticks were complimented by lemon pepper fish fillets for The Man and I, peach slices and edamame.

Loodle became despondent that she wasn't able to cook yet. Thinking quickly, I magnanimously offered to let her cook the following week. I'm a giver.

Although, her plan for the first day's meal is home-frosted doughnuts, so there goes my plan to gain no weight this holiday season. But I can't complain, as the last two nights of not worrying a lick about dinner prep have been sheer heaven.

To those readers with no kids or young-uns'? THIS is what you've got to look forward to.

M. Night Shyamalan? Call Me.

Monday was the big Thanksgiving Feast at the girls' school, so I went to have lunch with them. This is what I was greeted with when Loodle's kindergarten class came into the lunch room:



Dude, M. Night Shyamalan? Can I call you M? M, I think I've got a star for your next freaky movie. I know, she's a little young, but if the image of her as a crazy-eyed pilgrim doesn't move you, please look into the archives of Fashion Tuesdays past. Scary stuff indeed.


We'll talk.

Wordless Wednesday: Downward Economy's Silver Lining

It's Like Tickle Me Elmo, But With Battles and Stuff

So Boodle got her allowance yesterday, and had grand aspirations of buying books at the Scholastic Book Fair at school. Dude, what a nerd. Except, remember, she's got a touch of the ADD, so by today, plans had changed.

I was perusing the Sunday paper's ads, and tossed her the Target Toy Catalog. She came across an ad for a toy I'd never heard of. All thoughts of scholarly pursuits were abandoned, and she wanted to go shopping RIGHT NOW for this toy. Not having a clue what it was, I blithely agreed, and off we went.

Little did I know. Apparently, this toy, this "Bakugan" is destined to be the bane of my existence. I seriously have NEVER heard of this thing before, but it's ALL THE RAGE. After three stores, and a few tears on my part, I discovered this thing is this year's Tickle Me Elmo doll. The pitying looks I got from toy store clerks after I asked them if they had more in the back made me think of those people looking for Elmo two days before Christmas. Loser.

Only, at least they were just after the one Elmo doll that year. Here, those ingenious Japanese have created yet another item to which there are myriad boosters/launchers/arenas that can be added. Considering the Starter Packs contain one creature and one card and costs $15, and the Battle Packs cost $50 (!), I'm really really thankful for the whole ADD thing, because the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise, we'll be on to something else next week. (Oh, relax, she's MY kid, so I can make fun of her and her affliction.)

You'll be glad to know that she did find a version of the toy that satisfied her Bakugan lust. It's not the small version but some mega toy that will most likely get her laughed off the playground at school, but for tonight, she's happy. 'Nuff said.

I Lost My Froggy

These are the tearful words I was met with this afternoon as my kids came through the door after school. Loodle had gotten her allowance early so she could shop at the school store, which is open once a month and sells cheap plastic toys and such.

Apparently, she bought some type of frog related item, and then "forgot it was in her hand" and took it to P.E. You can surmise the subsequent events. OF COURSE she dropped it unknowingly and some little hooligan absconded with it.

My first reactions to these things is usually to roll my eyes and thank the heavens that one more piece of soon-to-be trash has not crossed the threshold. However, I usually manage to squelch that and offer half hearted comfort. Really, Loodle is very melodramatic, and tends to make Everests out of molehills. It's very easy to brush off her emotions, because for crying out loud there are a LOT of them.

But they shouldn't be brushed away. She's almost 6, not 36, and she has no context in which to place this loss. She has not carried the weight of watching her dad die of cancer. She's never seen her parents' marriage crumble. She's never been abused, or neglected, or gone hungry. Her finances haven't vanished in an instant, leaving her to wonder where her next mortgage/car/credit card payment, even her next MEAL, will come from.

Her world is one in which mom and dad are happy, and love each other, and actually talk and spend time together. A world where she has clean clothes, a comfortable bed, more food than she can eat in a day. A world where people care for her and love her and tell her how much she MATTERS. A world where she still sees the good, still EXPECTS the good in people.

So who am I to disabuse her of this? Who am I to say that her loss is so minute compared to all the ills of the world? At what time do I decide that her idyllic childhood should end and she should find the world that you and I know? Some would say it should have been years ago. That compassion for others should start when kids are young, and I get that. But I also remember being a child, and how it felt to be young, and happy, and carefree, and I remember when it stopped, and how scary and uncertain the world became. Is it so wrong to want to extend her childhood a bit longer?

Because this world in which she lives? It sounds so lovely, doesn't it? Where the loss of a toy frog is the. worst. thing. ever. For this day, I will let her stay there. I will cradle my girl in my lap, kiss away her tears and tell her I'm sorry. Soon enough, she'll feel the weight of the world. Soon enough.




**Postscript - as I was editing this entry and deciding if I should even post it, Loodle stood up from the couch, reached into her underwear and, amazed, pulled out the frog. I kid you not.

Wordless Wednesday: It's Finally Over and I Don't Have to Deal With the Drama Anymore

-----

What Would YOU Do?

So here's a scenario I was faced with tonight, and I want to know what YOU would do in this situation, then I'll tell you what I did.

We were out to dinner, The Man, the girls and I. We went to a Mexican restaurant, not fancy, not a hole in the wall - a middle of the road place that serves killer fish tacos and has a patio overlooking the Texas hill country.

We were seated next to a table of three ladies who were around my age I would say, and they looked to my eyes like coworkers. Maybe teachers or office workers of some sort. There was another table across from us with a kid, and the rest of the tables were mostly couples. As dinner progressed, I kept overhearing the ladies using "bad" words. Shitty, hell, damn. Not in a loud, angry way, just peppered into their conversation, but definitely at a volume that could be heard at our table.

So what would you do?

Go ahead, I'll wait while you mull it over. No, don't read down, just ponder.



Okay, here's what I did:


The lady who kept saying "shitty" was on the same side as I was, so I leaned back and made eye contact briefly right after she said it the second time. When she almost immediately said it again, I leaned over, said "Excuse me, could you please watch your language?" in, to my ears, a perfectly reasonable, polite tone of voice. (The Man can chime in and let us know if I was too snooty and judgmental about it)

She looked at me blankly and said "What?", and I said "Can you please watch your language? I've got my kids here." She still looked blank, and one of her table mates said quietly that she'd said shitty. The lady said, "Oh, shitty? That's a biological function." I was a little taken aback, but I said something to the effect of not wanting my kids to hear it, again in a reasonable tone. She said something like "Okay, well enjoy your dinner" in a completely sarcastic fashion, I said "Thank you" and left it at that.

We were in the middle of playing a 20 questions type game at the time, and I was having trouble concentrating because I was in utter shock at her response. I guess I could have just ignored them, which is usually our policy at home when song lyrics or an XBox game contain bad words, but I just felt like it was too much. I was really surprised that she was so blown away at my request. I overheard her talking on her cell phone right afterwards and she was telling the caller that she had never in her life ever been asked to watch her language. She was clearly of the pissed off variety, not the chagrined variety.

Anyway, we continue with dinner and their table gets up to leave. She turns, looks directly at me, and says, again in the extreme sarcasm voice, "Okay, enjoy your dinner. Have a NICE LIFE!" and proceeds to flip me the bird. In the middle of the restaurant and in front of my kids.

Again, I'm completely flabbergasted. I just stared at her and then looked over at The Man. He gave me a "Did That Just Happen?" grin and shook his head. Boodle turned to me kind of nervously and asked me what was going on. I asked her if she saw what the lady had done, and she seemed to have missed it or she didn't know how to answer that.

I told her that the lady was using bad words, and was upset that I had asked her to stop and was being rude about it. I told her something about how she was not being polite and had used an obscene gesture, but I was still going to be polite to her since I didn't want to act like she was.

And then my head exploded a little bit, because I really wanted to run after the lady and find out what her deal was, to say the least. Who does that in a restaurant? And a WOMAN, to boot? I guess I give the fairer sex more credit, because I thought for sure she just had not realized her voice was carrying and would keep it down. I never in my wildest dreams thought she'd flame off in such a manner. Maybe I SHOULD have just let it go to begin with, but I was concerned for what might start flying around next, and frankly, at a family friendly restaurant in TEXAS, you just don't expect to put up with that.

Look at me, I'm already turning into a proud Texan. "We don't take kindly to your talk, little lady. You best save them words for the honky tonks."

However, I've decided something good has come out of this. I'm going to make business cards for myself that I can hand out in situations such as these. They are going to be plain white cards that simply say,

"Thank you for providing me with great blog fodder."

I think people will really like that.

Sweet, Sweet Victory

Entry Fee Into the Teacher's Raffle = $5
Can of Whipped Cream = $2
Pie Plate = $0.50
Plastic Trash Bag = $0.60
Goggles = $2
Kleenex Shoved Up Nose = $0.04

Winning the Raffle and Shoving a Pie In Your Teacher's Face? Priceless.