Over the last year, our girls have been phasing out listening to kids' music, focusing more on tween and adult fare. They still love Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers, but more and more they request one of the mix CD's that I've created for use in the van.
This leads to several issues. One, I'm now having to explain what certain lyrics are referring to. How to explain, for instance, what "Can you turn my black roses red?" or "Big girls don't cry" or "No more dating, I'm just waiting" mean to a girl who is big and indeed cries but has no concept what "black roses" and "waiting" are. They're learning a lot about heartache, but I'm hoping I'm tempering it with my "YOU would never choose a boy who treated you like this, right?" lecture.
Going further, listening to your 4 year old belt out "She's my cherry pie" or "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, he, he tastes like you, but sweeter" gets a little uncomfortable, especially when they start singing it a cappella in the grocery store at full volume.
Now, our latest challenge has been songs with actual bad words in them. The girls, at 6 and almost 9, are aware of some, and that we're trying to shield them from the worst of it. They used to think that "stupid" was their nastiest word, but they know what damn, hell, ass and crap are. I'm sure they've heard worse at school, but that's not MY fault, right? Right?
Anyway, I had my iPod loaded up with some hard rock songs for use during workouts at the gym, and Boodle has been listening to it in the van at various times. I knew there was one particular song by the Flobots that didn't have bad words, but the ending has a possible offensive part that I didn't want to expose her to. I've told the kids in the past that this song was not for them, and I'd skip it if it came on or alternately fast forward at the ending. So I told Boodle if she heard that one start, just skip it.
Today I went to charge the iPod, and since Boodle has been listening to it, I thought I'd change the songs, or at least take out the one that was offensive. Here's where my aforementioned good parenting skills come in. There were at least 10 songs on the list that, had I sat down to load the iPod with her in mind, I would have rejected outright.
It contained 3 songs with the "F" word, 3 with the "S" word, and 4 with hell or damn in them. She's been listening to this iPod off and on for at least two weeks, and I find it hard to believe that she's not heard ALL of these songs in that time.
I truly amaze myself sometimes with my spectacular parenting failures. I might as well buy her some ganster rap for her birthday.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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6 of you HAD to say...:
My 19 year old boy will fast forward through the songs not meant for me. LOL
I'm pretty sure you're not scarring her for life. You're absolutely right, she's going to hear it at school and with other kids. Believe me, I still remember being in fifth or sixth grade and having one of my friends tell me the significance to giggling at the number 6 9.
Also, coming from a girl who had older brothers and was exposed to Metallica at a young age...she'll be fine.
I've got a copy of Eminem's new album I'll send ya for Boodle. :)
Geez! Why don't you just buy her a gun or a crack bowl, for crying out LOUD?!
I know you are kicking yourself, but I try to remind myself that I will have to have these conversations eventually. No time like the present, right? I think you are brilliant for constantly talking to the girls whenever a lyric comes up that you are a little uncomfortable about them hearing. Next, you get to explain why it is Mommy likes to listen to these songs. You don't swear like a pirate, so they'll see how to listen responsibly. That's all that matters, I think.
What I'm reading here is that you have open dialog and communication with your kids. Whether you are talking about words, bodies, cooties, or whatever, doesn't really matter. They talk to you. Sounds to me like you're all good. OK, now let's make that rap song - but no video, yet.
perhaps an inexpensive iPod shuffle of her very own, for her birthday?
Seriously though, she'll be exposed to this stuff in school so you are making a preemptive strike in a controlled environment so you can use it as a teaching tool to explain the ways of the world. At least that's what I tell myself whenever I let something fly while driving with the kids in the car.
and yes, I am the master at run-on sentencing.
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