My Brain Is All Backed Up

I've got so much going on right now, and so much that's been happening in the last two weeks, I'm getting stuck blogging. I think about this thing, and that photo, and that argument and that other freakout, and nothing wants to come out as actual blog posts.

I think I just need to get over my obsessive need for order and linear storytelling, and just jump in and say what's first and foremost in my noodle.

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I've had a wonderful time with my mom here visiting. She's leaving on Saturday, and there will be tears all around. I'm working on getting her to move here to Texas (sorry bro!), and each time she visits, she gets more and more willing. However, we have a chance of snow tomorrow (Meg, I've got my camera ready to prove it if need be!), and I think that might push her back the other way. It's hard to leave the California climate to come here and bake in the summer and freeze in the winter.

It's funny, because every time I tell someone how my mom's visiting for almost 3 weeks, they are surprised at the joy I express. How fortunate and blessed I am to get along so well with my mom, and that The Man loves having her around as well. Now if I could just get her interested in her grandkids...

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Boodle got thrown from her horse at her last riding lesson. I know! How frightening. Three of the girls in the class got their horses bunched up as they rode around the ring, and one horse named Firecracker (dude, with that name we shoulda seen it coming) decided he'd had enough and started kicking. Boodle's horse was right behind him, so she started shying away, and in the fracas, Boodle fell off. Luckily, Firecracker moved ahead and she didn't get trampled.

That sounds so dramatic, doesn't it? In reality, it took all of 45 seconds for it to start, her to fall, the teacher to run out and get Boodle right back up on the horse. I of course was a stunned ball of freaking the hell out, but Boodle assured everyone emphatically that she was okay. It sounded manic and stubborn to me, which made me want to cry all the more, knowing she was actually pretty wigged out and trying not to show it. I didn't cry though, keeping my own manic, happy face on as she came around the ring and looked to me for reassurance.

The instructor handled it very well, the fall coming on top of an hour of stubborn horses and much switching of riders to see if they could get the horses to trot. She said that if the girls were willing to come back after all that drama, then they could turn into good horsewomen. Boodle basically said "hell yeah!", so we're pressing on.

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I finished editing the photos from my first family shoot, and I'm pretty pleased. I learned so much, and of course now see 537 things I could have done differently, but I got some great shots and the family seems happy. They were just looking for a photo for their Christmas card, and I overwhelmed them with a billion photos and requests like, "Which edit do you like better? Did you like this smile or that smile? Look at them and then call me and we'll get together and talk about EVERYTHING!"

I'm pretty sure they're changing their phone number and email address as I type this. If I can get their permission, I'll post a few of my faves. I guess I could do a Witness Protection Program shot, but I don't think this translates:

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I am thankful...

- that I didn't burn my first turkey (which was only a breast because we also made a chicken dish and what am I Rachael Ray?)

- that when I dropped the paper towel roll on the fire extinguisher in the pantry (that is mysteriously missing it's pin), it did not fully discharge, and that the debacle was cleaned up before our guests arrived

- for pumpkin pie

- that my mom is here and was able to share the day, which would have been her 44th wedding anniversary

- that I got to say the prayer before dinner so I could include all our traditional prayers (NOT "good food, good meat, good Lord let's eat"-I'm saving that one for Christmas)

- for my family

- for my friends

- for my friends of the internet persuasion

- that I am living in a beautiful house in a beautiful city in a beautiful state in a beautiful country.

- for the military serving overseas who are sacrificing for our freedom.

and lastly...

I am thankful for stretchy pants and loose fitting tops.

Because I'm So Far Behind On Posting I Can't Stand It Anymore

*My mom is here

*I feel better

*Boodle started horseback riding lessons

*Loodle is taking piano

*Boodle had an artist's showcase at school

*Loodle got her ears pierced

*Boodle lost another tooth

*Loodle's class made upside down pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving (vanilla pudding, pumpkin mixed with spices, and graham cracker crumble)

*Boodle has started suffering from terrible nighttime nosebleeds (dry air, allergies)

*I did my VERY FIRST photo shoot for a family, and boy is my body SORE (who knew?)

*I went to a Women of Faith Conference, where Steven Curtis Chapman performed and Blair from the Facts of Life was a speaker

*Loodle had her birthday party, and the first gift she tore open with excitement was a hot pink kid-sized Snuggie, which we will immediately have monogrammed

*I broke in my new purple clogs

(Not really on that last one, just wanted to see if you were still reading. Five points if you know the movie reference)

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

You're 7, which is not possible. Because I'm pretty sure you were just born a little while ago. You are smart, funny, quirky, insightful, thoughtful, a good friend, and a wonderful daughter.

I love the stuffings out of you, kid.

Houseguest

This lady is here again. We were a tad pleased to see her, and bonus, she'll be here for Thanksgiving.

I'm also currently wallowing in a cold, so you might not hear from me for a while. I'll be busy snuggled in a blanket on the couch and eating my mom's famous grilled cheese sandwich and chicken noodle soup. Nothing heals you faster than being cared for by your mommy. Life is good.

**Two things to note about that photo: Boodle, who is 9, is almost as tall as Grandma; and Grandma is holding a carry-on bag with a bare-chested Johnny Depp. How cool is she?

Stuff

I'm feeling a bit under the weather, so I might be getting loopy and finding things more interesting and share-worthy than they really are. That having been said, here we go.

* Yesterday I went home and had a nutritious lunch of spinach salad and lightly grilled chicken out to lunch and had shrimp tacos at this great Mexican grill. They serve chips with jalapeno ranch dressing that is to die for. I bellied up to my food while reading a book, and I was halfway through scarfing down a basket of chips and dip when I looked down and saw a dragonfly had just crash landed in the dip. I was startled, and then proceeded to watch him struggling to get out. The humane thing to do would be to rescue him and send him on his way. Instead, I looked at him in disgust, becoming grossed out and pissed that he'd ruined my lunch, and left in a huff. The end.


** I just remembered that a while ago we saw a pigeon get hit by a truck in the Walmart parking lot, but it didn't die right away. I hurried the girls away from it because I didn't want them traumatized, but a lady had just pulled in to a spot near us and asked if it was dead. When I told her no, she proceeded to back out and told me she would go finish it off. We continued inside, and then ran into her on our way out. She reassured us that it was dead, and we notified the staff that they had a dead pigeon in the parking lot. Isn't that a lovely story? I can't think why I waited so long to tell you.

This then reminded me of when The Man was commuting to Santa Barbara from our home town, and he saw a squirrel or something get hit but not die, and he swerved to finish him off. I was horrified at the time, but I was young and stupid. Now I think he and that lady in the parking lot are courageous. Also that The Man is no longer my medical power of attorney.


*** There is something totally awesome about this story. "World's Tallest Man Unveils World's Biggest Cookie" And why did I find it infinitely more amusing to know he did it in an IKEA in Oslo?


**** I'm leaving tomorrow for two days to do a church conference thing in Houston, and I was outlining to The Man his Parental Responsibilities while I'm gone.

The Man: So when are you leaving?
Me: Tomorrow at 11am
The Man: So when do I get the kids?
Me: Saturday morning
The Man: ???
Me: They're having a sleepover so you can go to your Wrap Party for your game
The Man: Oh, that's RIGHT. So basically I'm going to go to work tomorrow, and I won't see my children until Saturday morning?
Me: Yep
The Man: I love you


**** I went to the school to eat lunch with the girls today, and while I waited for their class to come in, I was watching a table of 3rd graders. There was some jockeying for space, and they kept saying leave a space for Addie, leave a space for Addie! I was curious, and then a teacher came walking up with Addie, who is a Down Syndrome kid. The classmates were vying for her to be able to sit next to them, boys and girls alike. She sat down with them and they all started chatting away together, not realizing how profoundly awesome that was.

I am going to hold onto that lunch memory every time I start lamenting the fact that kids these days are so mean and uncaring and insensitive. They're not. When given the chance to be decent and caring and loyal, they can break your heart with the size of theirs.


***** Catch you all on the flip side, if I don't succumb to what is surely the R2D2 virus. May the force be with you. Always.

The One Where Loodle Cooks

Tonight, I worked twice as hard as usual took the night off and let Loodle make dinner. They were all up in arms last week because I always cook deadly poison with a side of grilled liver and onions, so I said, fine, you pick the menu and make it.

I knew full well that this would actually be MORE work for me, but the point was for them to realize that a lot of planning and thought and work goes into making a dinner. *snicker snort guffaw* Or at least realize that they had no interest in doing this on a weekly basis and leave me to my devices.

Loodle, my almost 7-year-old, was up first. She went through our two kids' cookbooks and picked.... sandwiches. And brownies. Oooookay, but wait! It's a circular sandwich! Bread baked into a circle is exciting!! After adding baked potato chips and carrots to the menu, away we went. Here are some pics from her prep and the final product, of which she was extremely proud.


Making round bread is easy. Take two Pilsbury french bread loaves and form a circle and pinch the ends together. Viola!

This was a cold cut Super Sub.

There were many steps in its preparation, but I'm pretty sure you know how to assemble turkey, ham, bologna, provolone, American cheese, spinach and olives without visual aids.

How it ended up with a face is... actually not a mystery, because all food items Loodle is involved with inevitably end up with a face of some sort.

Anything resembling outlandish toppings (i.e. mustard, mayo, pickles, peppers and tomatoes were left on the side to be added as necessary, which the girls used exactly zero times)

Those are brownie "buttons", whatever that means. (surely are not meant for me to put my feet upon whilst watching The Big Bang Theory) They were made from scratch, thank you very much, and there are mini m&m's mixed right into the batter. You want some right now, don't you?

Bits and Pieces

Just A Note to the Lady In Front of Me at the Store Who Took EIGHTEEN Minutes to Check Out:

OMG FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LET THE CHECKER SCAN YOUR FREAKING FOOD WITHOUT HAVING TO HEAR ABOUT HOW THE VITAMINS IN THE SMALLER BOTTLE ARE HIGHER "POTENCY" AND HOW THE MINCED GARLIC IS BLAH BLAH BLAH AND THOSE ROLLS SHOWED ON THE SHELF AS $.50 EACH BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS AND DID YOU GET THE TWO COUPONS FOR ROLAIDS CAN YOU PLEASE GO THROUGH ALL THE COUPONS AGAIN ONE BY ONE AND CHECK AND LOOK HE'S DONE SCANNING NOW AND HAS GIVEN YOU A TOTAL AND NOW YOU DIG THROUGH YOUR PURSE AND BRING OUT YOUR CHECKBOOK AND PROCEED TO FILL IT OUT SLOWER THAN THE POLAR ICECAPS ARE MELTING SO HELP ME GOD IF I SEE YOU IN THE PARKING LOT I WILL RUN YOU OVER AND NOT EVEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT NO MATTER WHAT I'M READING IN MY BIBLE STUDY CLASS RIGHT NOW

/capslock

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The lady across the street was sweeping her garage walls today. The WALLS. Then she appeared to be scrubbing the garage floor. I don't NEED this kind of pressure, lady.

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The girls listen to classical music while falling asleep. Tonight, Loodle was out here complaining about her sister not letting her fall asleep. I gave her half-assed instructions and sent her back to her room. The Man, looking to actually PARENT in this situation, followed quietly after her down the hall and overheard:

Loodle: Did you skip ahead to this song?
Boodle: Yes.
Loodle: (pause) Why do you hate me?

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Loodle, the almost 7 year old, is currently reading the bible. For fun. I'm barely keeping up with her in my bible study class entitled "The Big Picture", wherein we read through the bible over the course of a couple dozen weeks.

So we're in the van a couple days ago, and Loodle says, "Oh, right, I was at the part where Moses goes back to Egypt." Thank goodness I know what's happening, since I've just gone through Exodus. I idly inquire what she's reading about in the book. "Boils. It was the 6th plague." Um, oooookay, gonna have to take your word on that one. I wait for a bit, and then ask again what she's reading. "I'm reading about the Angel of Death." Awesome. Carry on.

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In a related note, a few weeks ago I volunteered in Kids' Praise during the second half of church, and Loodle was there watching a Veggie Tales movie about the whole Moses/Pharaoh/plague situation. If you're not familiar, Pharaoh has his heart hardened even after all these plagues are brought upon his people, but the last straw is when God orders all the firstborn sons of Egypt be killed, even the Pharaoh's.

Obviously, in a Veggie Tales movie, this is a delicate subject, so they portrayed this part by showing all the babies in baskets floating gently down the river into the sunset.

Loodle turns to me and says matter-of-fact: "Does that mean they killed them?"

Um, yeah, it does, and now I'm rethinking the whole church thing altogether, because you are just too smart for sugar-coating. Alternately, is it blasphemous to rip out the entire Old Testament from her bible?

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Our carpool buddy, a 6 year old girl, was riding in our van today after school on our way to an afternoon outing. She spoke up with the following: "I could use a drink right now." (me, giggling internally because I'm juvenile and also think maybe I'll need a drink after an afternoon with three giggly girls) Then she mutters: "Yeah, I could use a cold one." STOP IT, you're killing me.

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Later, another friend, a 5 year old boy this time, met us at the local library, and we were walking down to see a movie, when the carpool girl accidentally brushed him with her bookbag.

5yob: Hey, watch it! You're gonna hurt my wiener!
6yog: (oblivious)
5yob: (I'm guessing he realizes you're not supposed to say wiener) Oh, I mean you almost hit my tenders.
6yog: Are you talking about chicken nuggets?
5yob: Grinning, no I mean my tenders. You know.
6yog: Yeah, tenders are chicken nuggets.
5yob: No, I mean...
(This is where I finally have to intervene before I DIE of a heart attack from withheld chortling and guffawing)
Me: No, he's talking about his boy parts.
6yog: Oh. Sorry.

Wordless Wednesday: Judging By Mold Progression, I Think Halloween Is Over

Say Cheeeeeeeese!

The beginning of the school year brings about an argument in our household that I'm sure not many folks have.

Picture Day.

We've been through, oh what is it, six? Yeah, six picture days now, and I can honestly say I've liked exactly one of the pictures that we got back. From EITHER child.

In the beginning, Boodle was at an age where she was extraordinarily uncomfortable getting in front of anybody, where their entire being would be focused on just her. She couldn't take the pressure, so the first two years' pics were tearstained, manic looking photos. Ah, fond memories to last a lifetime.

Then, she finally got comfortable enough not to cry, so we moved into the CHEEEEEZE! phase. There were two years' worth of Camembert shots that the dentist could use to diagnose a cavity.

Now, Boodle has moved on to the Uncertain Smile years. I blame myself, because after trying to better my photography skills using my guinea pigs kids, I've spoken to them about a natural smile, and I'm sure I've done it in a consistent, loving, helpful way. *snort*

So. School starts. Actually, let me back up. The devil himself invades school administrators and they institute SPRING portrait day last April, and after foolishly purchasing the package last fall of less than memorable pictures, I refused (REFUSED!) to buy any pics for Spring.

Back to this school year, and a big brouhaha erupts over whether I'm going to shell out $50 EACH for their photos. Me: NO. Them: Waaaaaaah. End scene. I've finally decided that I'm sick of the traditional, you-must-have-pictorial-evidence-that-your-child-went-to-school-this-year portraits.

So last week, on picture day, I took them after school to a beloved park with a stream and sand and turtles, and told them that they could play to their hearts' desires after they let me take their pics on the pretty path. I didn't mention school photos, just told them to have fun.









So, you tell me. Do you think the portrait company would be able to get anything close to these faces or these full of depth expressions? And should I shell out $100+ just for tradition's sake? And WHEN did I turn into my bah humbug husband???

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The Man Is Famous!

Okay, maybe not personally famous, but still. We were watching The Big Bang Theory tonight (which, if you're not watching, dude, it's awesome), and a commercial came on for the game his company worked on. A commercial for his game! On TV!! In the middle of a totally awesome show that's on a REGULAR channel, not one of those weird cable access channels.

The Man totally rocks and I'm totally bragging on him.


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